Over the course of the past year I have watched so many people turn into caricatures of cartoon villains, people I once respected repeatedly disappointed me with their hot takes on “what’s wrong with the world” and people I called friend have turned into warped piles of festering hatred. It was always there inside, hiding but it still stings when the realization that my uneasy gut feeling about them was very correct and I should have backed away a long time ago.
This is exactly why I haven’t felt like writing much anymore. Why? My words just float on the breeze, ignored and undervalued. They are labeled “exaggeration” or “dramatic” yet when they come to fruition, it’s all conveniently forgotten. You never said that! I most certainly did but, oh well, I tried to warn everyone. My job is done.
It is getting harder and harder to find
Who we are now is most definitely who we have always been. But to those who say, “people change” I say, no they don’t, they just grow into who they were always meant to be. Call it growth or evolution or whatever you like but, inherently people will people no matter the amount of calls to be more humane or empathetic or kind. If someone has to be told to be kind then logic might conclude that the kindness gene mutated or was corrupted somewhere down the line of succession and it isn’t coming back for that particular family tree. The branch is dead, withered and ready to fall to the earth in crumbled bits of its former incarnation.
At one time I wanted to believe that deep down, all people were good, every last one of them, even the awful ones. The unrelenting hope that someday they would see the light or find the true love that resided deep inside their cold little hearts has been replaced with resolute acceptance of the exact opposite. They are not evolving, improving or coming back from the persistent infection of inhumanity and I now get this. I wanted so much more for this country, this society and this world but it was not meant to be.
There will be no wringing of hands in anxiety or fear on my part concerning this absolute finding of fact that the division in our tiny part of the world is now permanent. It was meant to be, as all genetic changes dictate through mutation and natural selection. Some of us will move forward and some will not, that is by nature’s grand design. And, I am A-OK with all of that since I firmly believe that humans are only here due to nature’s whim and once we become too destructive to live, well, it’s lights out time.
We are the world
So, how do I feel knowing my type of personality; the kind, loving, empathetic and giving type is going to be demonized and slated for legislative extinction if the current pattern of “governance” remains? Calm. Steadfast. Unwavering. Joyful. I will always be me because it’s engrained in my DNA to do so, which royally pisses off the followers of the Cult of Personality. Let it, I have zero regrets or plans to change. I can’t change into that which I wasn’t designed to be remember?
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to “In the Land of Reverie” and L.A. Cobb (formerly L.A. Askew) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Life, as we know it, in the here and now, can be so damn annoying, tedious, infuriating and exhausting. We establish boundaries, set clear intentions and then the world’s biggest narcissists and gaslighters blow right past those carefully erected safeguards without any consideration of the harm they cause. They simply do not care and act as if anyone who dares get upset with being treated poorly is merely over-reacting or are too sensitive. The scent of gas follows them everywhere, as does the stink of purposeful manipulation.
And, why should they care? In the entitled history of many a soul-sucker’s existence throughout time, the word NO doesn’t register. Nor has it been used with great frequency to correct, castigate or call out their bad behavior. Horrible people will exploit others…you know how this story goes.
But, does it really have to GO this way? Nope. It does not…we just continue turning the cheek and ignoring the red flags because Little Johnny is just doing what his parents taught him to do, piss all over anyone different from him in a flagrant attempt at establishing dominance. Winners win! Losers get tricked, cheated, lied to or, worst yet, guilted into conceding because Little Johnny is going to get uglier until he gets his way. It’s just easier if you step aside and let him win you know?
Spoiled to their rotten core.
But, you can’t say that to Johnny’s face or his pampering parents will carry on, in like manner, threatening legal action, shouting about how they are being discriminated against or oppressed. We know they aren’t and they know they aren’t but projection and deflection are powerful tools for liars and cheats.
Now, before we go too far, yes, I am white and yes, I am talking about the atrocious behavior of other white people. No metaphors here. I can only speak to that which I personally know and I know how terrible white people can act when they see a win on the horizon but there are minority obstacles in the way. It may sound harsh to word it that way but how else can I describe what I see? The willful trampling of others to get to the top of the heap while crowing about the need for those less entitled to pull themselves up. “I did it! Why can’t they?” Yeah, why can’t they Johnny? Is it because you are still standing on their necks?
HOW DARE YOU DRAW ATTENTION TO OUR EVIL SKELETONS!!!
I do dare because it is important. I am fucking tired of tone deaf, willfully ignorant people who say insensitive things as an afterthought because if they didn’t experience it then they don’t believe the lived experiences of others not like them. To live in such a pristine bubble! But, is it really? No, it’s messy and full of contradictions that scream hypocrisy while those of the same ilk look the other way. Not me! I’m superior!
Jesus Christ, what a bunch of losers.
Hell, even Jesus, if he actually existed, wouldn’t like the loud and obnoxious crew that marches around claiming to be his righteous disciples. Okay, now that cat is way out of the bag so I suppose I should address the fact that I don’t prescribe to any religious book club so before anyone comments that they will pray for me just save it. I don’t believe what you believe and therefore your rules of deluded engagement don’t apply to me. That IS how it works you know? Your beliefs are yours and my beliefs are mine and that’s perfectly fine. Relax. You have your ticket to heaven all set right? So why do you care what I do?
*I wrote the above collection of words prior to the 2024 presidential election and am just now looking through my drafts folder. So apropos!
Now, back to little Johnny. Apparently, half of America is full of entitled, asshole Johnny’s who don’t give a shit about anyone else but themselves, their fragile egos and, apparently a few cents off on gas. Offer them a coupon for 50 cents off a hamburger and they would vote for satan himself over protecting women’s rights, LGBTQIA+ rights, or any other rights marginalized groups deserve. Get that? They value money above all else and even the dirt poor ones think they will be rewarded monetarily by Donald “The Shart of the Deal” Trump. Nah, he hates the poor, even the ones that fawn all over him and send in their last Social Security dime in exchange for a cheap-ass, ugly red hat made in China.
“It’s the red hat that replaced the white hood”
Awww, now that’s not fair! Not all of his cult followers are racists!! Hmmm, to align one’s self with darkness is to condone the darkness and by DARKNESS I mean hateful racism, xenophobia, homophobia, sexism, ableism, fascism, anti-semitism, authoritarianism, all the bad isms. He is that and more all rolled up in a bloated orange bag of flatulent gas. Own him and his “concepts of a plan”, he’s your albatross now.
I know, I know, the hackles are raising on the back of the necks of the MAGA faithful. Salty tears are welling up in those blinded eyes, darkened to reason, kindness, empathy, dare I say, love even? How can these good “Christians” who claim to love Jesus so much resort to covering up lies and looking the other way each time their manly Genghis Don sins openly while dancing like he’s jerking two dicks to an iconic gay anthem like YMCA? Does he realize? Do his followers get it? Probably not, he’s their Orange Jesus and can do no wrong.
Catastrophic meteor! Kill us all now!!!!
I really don’t know where I was originally going with this when I first started writing it months ago. Maybe I was planning to discuss how I wished people were kinder, more thoughtful, less brainwashed, less gaslighty. “I know you are but what am I?” It’s SO tiring and I think I’m done wishing for the impossible. Chalk it up to long COVID brain, lead poisoning for the older folk, mental illness, fetal alcohol syndrome, I don’t know. What I DO know is that I am done debating, pleading, educating and hoping they will change. They are gone and I, and every other wise person I know are moving on.
It is time to move through life as if these lost souls are nothing more than sad ghosts, because they are absolutely not living in this reality anymore. They are on the brain eating worm, decapitate a whale, dump a dead baby bear in Central Park and laugh about it train with RFK Jr. It looks pretty crazy when it’s written out like that doesn’t it??? And believe me, if I hadn’t seen the interviews and podcasts Robert F. Wackado did confessing the depravity above I would say it was nuts too.
These are MAGA’s best and brightest. And, ya’ll gave that shit the stamp of approval when you voted for him. Can’t pick and choose, Trump and his band of miscreants are a package deal and you can’t have one without the whole insane bunch of rotten bananas. You will be known both by the company you keep and by the behavior you silently condone. You may have not committed the acts but each time an excuse is offered or an offense is brushed off it becomes a mark on your character, your integrity, your honor and, ultimately, your soul.
It has been disappointing and frightening to watch so many people become lost to the virus that is MAGA but now that I understand there is no rehabilitation, I can breathe. I am not afraid and am at peace with everything and anything that is about to happen. We get what we get and we don’t complain but I also know that the main lesson I have learned from all of this is that MAGAism has broken the spell of wanting to help everyone in need for many people in America. I will help MAM only moving forward. Me. And. Mine. It’s the consequence that naturally occurs when people continually show you exactly who they, that they will never change, and that they don’t care about you.
Congratulations MAGA! My most fervent wish is that you all get everything you voted for. It was what you wanted after all and I accept that. I’m happy for you. There will be no “I told you so” admonishments because everything that went down happened because you felt it was the right thing to do. No regrets! No looking back. No asking if we can still be around one another, if we can put differences aside. That can’t happen anymore because it would fly in the face of everything you proclaimed you stood for. MAGA good, Democrats evil. Don’t jeopardize your souls, I would never ask you to!
So, bask in your victory because you earned it and kudos on all the winning.
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After what happened November 5, 2024, it’s time to reevaluate who we allow into our lives because all people are neither safe nor are they trustworthy. It is time to enact self preservation mode full time.
Voting is a personal thing. A thing some take very seriously and extra consideration is given when making choices that can negatively impact others. And, it’s also a thing that is used as a weapon against those we do not like or agree with due to twisted religious beliefs or ingrained bigotry or both. This is where the “agree to disagree” adage gets applied the most.
“I may not agree with the way you choose to live your life but we can still be (enter word ofchoice).” Friends. Civil. Family. Nice. No. No. No. And, no.
Those simplistic, naive days are over and I will not compromise my integrity, my sanity or my life on a hollow statement made by a person who nonchalantly colored in an oval that marked an end to the democracy we were tricking into thinking we once were. It was all a lie, smoke and mirrors, a con just like the many cons the Orange Asshole has perpetrated for years on staff, contractors, the American people. We fell for it and now we ALL will pay the price whether we think so or not.
There are no exemptions under authoritarian rule and just because you were a good little non-elite white man or woman (especially a woman) who voted “correctly” that doesn’t mean you weren’t always meant to be run over when your usefulness ended. “I don’t care about you! I just want your vote.” Jesus! Can’t you just hear that sneering voice accompanied by that pitted, self tanner globbed, grotesquely twisted face? It’s enough to make even a stomach made of steel turn!
Obey or suffer. Comply or be detained. Useful idiots, the whole lot of you. And because he doesn’t care then, in the spirit of matching energy, I no longer care either. I won’t care when your Social Security gets cut retired and/or disabled Boomers and Gen Xers. I won’t care when those of you with school age children suddenly have to scramble because the Department of Education gets dismantled and your kid’s school gets closed or your disabled child’s accommodations are stripped. You decided their future, my child’s future and your neighbor’s child’s future when you cast that vote so fair’s fair right?
The MAGA pukes who are abusive towards women will ramp that behavior up 10 notches now that their misogynistic King Baby is back in the White House. These are men with no emotional intelligence and no ability to regulate their emotions. It’s rant this, rant that, yell random shit, proclaim Trump 2024 and then pout about how women won’t sleep with them. Tip #1: Don’t sleep with them. Don’t talk to them, don’t do things for them, stop centering them. They don’t care about you and they aren’t stable. Count on needing to protect yourself and respond accordingly while the 2nd amendment is still available to women, for now. (Just a safety tip there)
Now, white Boomer, Gen X, Millennial, Gen Z and a tiny segment of remaining Silent Generation women; it’ll be cool when the party formally known as the Republican Party, now MAGA Party, repeals the 19th Amendment right? You are too emotional to vote. Plus, the men in your life should be the ones to act as head of household seeing how you are just property after all. That’s okay with you isn’t it? No? But, I thought your vote for Trump, MAGA, the Heritage Foundation, Project 2025 cemented that! You thought they would stick up for you? Protect you? Care about you? *See the paragraph above.
Laughable.
MAGA men, and even a lot of liberal men, DO NOT LIKE WOMEN. Oh, they may have sex with you and marry you but they don’t care if you are protected, treated equitably, respected or even if you live judging by their voting stats. When will you get it through your Stockholm syndrome riddled brain that you are resented and disliked just like all other women? You aren’t special white women and you aren’t exempt from their punishment.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg ladies! Let’s make it so you can’t get a divorce even if your husband beats the shit out of you and the kids daily. Cast that vote! Let’s make it impossible for you to access birth control so you can choose when or if you start a family. Cast that vote! Oh, now you are pregnant but you have complications and because of the soon to be implemented federal abortion ban (news flash: miscarriages are spontaneous abortions) you are left to bleed out in the ER waiting room or parking lot when they kick you out. Cast that vote!!
Step right up, pull the lever, circle the oval, seal your fate! But, wait! They won’t do that to ME!! Privileged white women are safe! No. No, you are not and by continually towing the patriarchy party line you whittle away at the imaginary barrier between you and the punishment that is passed out for other women. You know, the ones you just voted against?
The ones who would have helped you out not even 4 years ago. Black women, brown women, Indigenous, Asian, Hispanic and so on. The ones who always take the insults, the derision, the beatings while you stand by in silence, day by day, month by month, year by year, decade by decade, century after century until they, the perpetual punching bags finally fall to the ground in exhaustion.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to “In the Land of Reverie” and L.A. Cobb (formerly L.A. Askew) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The past 7 years have been rough. That is the simplest way I can describe it. People come and they go from our lives and it used to sting a little but now, I’m at peace with the losses. Some of those people were never going to change so I changed instead. I either outgrew them or decided having their toxic nastiness in my life was a bridge too far. Of course, I used to always say how I didn’t care about anything or that nothing bothered me, like every good Gen Xer does but that was just posturing dipped in a sarcasm coating. Self-preservation if you will. Can’t hurt me because I will push you away before anything bad happens. Now, I just walk away midsentence. Free, clear and satisfied. There will be no more tolerating the intolerable. Enough is enough.
God, what happened to us way back when to get us to the place we are now? I know the answer to that question, I’ve documented all the instances that apply to the WHAT in the initial question in many past posts but still, did it have to be like this? No it didn’t but, honestly, I’m glad it’s happening. Now, at the my advancing age, I’m trying desperately to fix the damage caused to me, my inner child, my current mental state and the relationships with those most important to me. My life, my reach and my positive contribution to this world are all still very much in play and it’s time to start shouting. No more staying to ourselves. No more blending into the background after whispering inflammatory statements designed to rile what’s left of the bent and brittle Silent Gen and angry Boomer antagonists.
We were and still are very adept at stirring the pot but now it matters more. Our very existence depends on it, despite what MeeMaw and PeePaw pontificate and speculate based on a daily diet of Fox News and Facebook rage scrolling. “Those younger generations don’t respect their elders!” No they don’t because they know how shitty you treated their parents and they see how shitty you still treat anyone not like you. All of those years of abiding by the “be seen but not heard” edict helped a huge swath of multiple generations beyond Gen X develop amazing observation skills. Millennials, Gen Z and Gen Alpha are quite the detectives and they are breaking down the façade built to corral all objectors into a corner. Once the building has been dismantled there will be no more corners, just wide open space, everything out in the open for all to see.
And it’s the accountability aspect that frightens the controlling class the most. Shining a spotlight on the sins of the father, the sins of the party and the sins of the corporation is tantamount to treason in their eyes. HOW DARE YOU QUESTION OUR WISDOM! There is nothing wise about using deception to control and every con and every trick gets found out eventually. It took my generation longer to rise back up from the dark hole we were pushed into over and over because we were told we were slackers, lazy and weak. Many of us were used as punching bags, literally and the phrase, “I’ll give you something to cry about,” still rings in our ears when looking back on the childhood abuse we endured. “You’re sad? Too bad!” There was no therapy for us until we could pay for it ourselves. There was no reprieve from self-doubt and shame until we were far enough away from the source to recover.
So now, I see my role as a supporting one for the generations that have come after me. I don’t feel like I “lost my chance” or that it’s too late to create change because as long as I can still speak then I can encourage, support and uplift younger fighters all the way to the finish line. That is my place in this world, to do what my parents and grandparents couldn’t or wouldn’t do. I am not obsolete or out of touch, I am coming back to life. The regeneration of spirit, ground into bits by lead poisoned elders who took their anger with themselves out on us. Their shame is not my shame and I will not regurgitate that same old bile onto younger generations. It’s over. We are done taking their shit and understand the sheer value of power in numbers.
Combined, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z total almost 207 million in the United States with Gen Alpha slated to eclipse every generation at almost 2 billion, worldwide, by 2025. Where will the Silent and Boomer generations be in the next decade? It’s not smug to state the most obvious location of many in that age group, RIP, so I will just say that those remaining will be greatly outwitted and seriously outnumbered. But will they still be in power? Not if we all, collectively, have anything to say about it! Voting isn’t enough because gerrymandering cheaters hate losing so it is NOW time to stop being polite and stop ignoring the vile bullshit coming out of the mouths of those who gleefully wipe their hypocritical feet on the fruits of OUR labor. We do all the work and Boomers and what’s left of the Silent Generation (with the tiniest smidge of Greatest Generation remnants) benefit without having to expend any energy or effort.
Stop handing them the power! They have squandered their integrity in exchange for high paying positions in which they haven’t engaged in an “honest” days’ work in decades. The policy of earning their dues was always a charade, especially if their daddy owned the company or grandfather left a nice nest egg for them in his will. What exactly was “earned” and what was simply gifted to them by virtue of being born? Was Gen X bequeathed the same generous riches? Some, maybe but it wasn’t even close. Money over morals and power over the good of the people is the true motto of this soulless class. And, that may sound judgmental of me, clinging to stereotypical labels of Silent Gen/Loudest Complainers and Boomer Boss/Money Hungry Monsters but, if the boots fit then pull those straps on up you laughable liars!
That felt good! Therapy is expensive but yelling into the void can be oddly cathartic too. And, there is a huge void between the ears of those who refuse to hear, either because their own inner shame is too painful to acknowledge or, they just don’t care. I’m starting to believe it’s the not giving a shit part that is the most true of many in the older generations, not all of course but still, way too many.
Gen X is always billed as the apathetic, dead inside cohort but, for me, that was always claimed in defense and never actually true. I cared too much and got burned every time I let my guard down with older generations so now, in hindsight, I absolutely see who it was and still is with the inability to empathize and feel remorse. Was it the pervasive daily lead exposure or because their mommy liked a martini or four to take the edge off when she was pregnant with them? We may never know which and even though my generation was exposed in a similar fashion it feels as if we got all of the doom and gloom and none of the over exaggerated egomaniacal tendencies. God, I would have loved having the confidence of a mediocre Boomer back then, just without the entitled asshole behavior though.
Now, having written all of this out, in my public journal for all to see, do I care if I ruffle sensitive feathers? No. The days of worrying what others think or being concerned how I am perceived by Silent Gen and Boomer elders is done. We are the new wiser generation now. We are Elder X, a kinder, gentler version for a new world order. This is the world we built when we chose to raise our children different than we were raised. The construction started after each instance of us listening to what our kids needed rather than silencing them. It continued being built after we summoned the courage to finally seek help for our rapidly declining mental health and our inability to utilize healthy coping mechanisms. We stopped yelling, we stopped belittling, we stopped being like our parents. That slippery slope has been hard to climb and many of us haven’t made it back to the top yet but we are trying.
We are asking for forgiveness from our children and now, grandchildren because it is warranted. But also, because it’s how we will learn to grow together and it is how we will grow stronger. It has to be done or we all fail and I don’t know about you, younger generations, but I’m sure as hell never letting a fucking Boomer outsmart me! Are you in? We are more powerful together than they could ever hope to be.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to “In the Land of Reverie” and L.A. Cobb (formerly L.A. Askew) with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I used to be worried that the world was going crazy. Used to be is key here. Now, I clearly see that only a portion of the population is bat-shit looney and I’ve lost my ability to care about their rage. I’ve been angry for decades over inequality, prejudice and purposeful fear mongering to no avail so when I see the news coverage with protest sign carrying wing-nuts who think they are preserving their FREEDOMS I just laugh. Oh, YOU are the only ones allowed FREEDOMS! I get it Mr. and Mrs. Don’t Tread On Me. That cute personalized license plate you pay your state department of revenue for each renewal period is quite the rebellious symbol. Don’t tell me what to do while I willingly pay you for the privilege of slapping this tacky-ass sign of insecurity on my over priced, highly financed truck. Laughable and typical. Pardon me while I roll my eyes and yawn.
I also laugh extra hard when I am called mean for not giving even half a shit that others who share my skin tone get their hackles raised at being called selfish, racist, homophobic, sexist or, GASP, colonizer. If the label doesn’t apply then why take offense? But, if it does then you are what you fear so suck it up and take on those monikers just like you expect those you demonize to. You call them thugs, animals, criminals, drains on society and the economy but baby, your actions clearly showed projection loud and clear prior to and especially, on January 6, 2021. Those doors and windows didn’t break down themselves and that shit didn’t just materialize on the walls of the US Capitol building. We saw what you did. You weren’t tourists. Again, laughable, predictable and pathetic. You can’t hide any longer. Is that what you fear now? The inability to slink back into the shadows?
“Oh, these liberals are losing their minds over…”
Insert any inane assumption after that statement because I’ve seen so many and have certainly heard so many over the course of the past few years. The best part is that I’m not mad at all. I never was to begin with and I especially don’t care now. Your feelings mean zero, zilch, nada to me and the words you use to describe how I MUST feel are meaningless. I don’t care if you refuse to wear a mask or get vaccinated against Covid. You have won no great battle. I will leave it up to you to beg for prayers when either you or a family member gets sick. It’s not my place to educate you, oh, expert meme poster, armchair medical professional/epidemiologist. Your ability to RESEARCH for yourself and consult the great Q far exceeds my innate reasoning and liberal arts degree. And by liberal arts I mean my bachelor of science (BS) in Sociology. Who better to study multiple groups of dumbasses but me? Don’t even get me started on what “liberal arts” even means…no matter, the MAGA trolls only hear LIBERAL without understanding the actual meaning because they are such proud lumps of arrogant sludge. Learn? What’s that?
The Great Patriots show no concern about the feelings, thoughts or concerns of others and instead label everyone not like them as loosing their minds or owned or weak or socialists or fascists or communists. I could go on and on because words have no meaning anymore, everything has been turned around in a gaslight tumbler full of trash talking and ignorantly false bravado. Literal diarrhea dripping from the gapping maws of the easily duped pawns and these are the ones who expect us to FEAR them? The ones who are swimming round and round in their own self doubt, insecurity and violence fueled stupidity while those with sense enough to know better stand and shake our heads in disgust? Not likely. Darwin will get his due soon enough my dears because this disconnect is your demon, your disease, your virus, not ours. Enjoy your great reward suckers! Hopefully your name will be spelled correctly on your participation trophy.
Over the past 5 or 6 years, conversations between those I thought to be confidants and even family have been laced with venom, hidden agendas and secret animosity. People who were previously considered friends have become suspicious, angry and paranoid, seemingly overnight. Post after post after post on social media filled with political memes, laments about how the country is devoid of morals, respect and decency. But who, exactly are they talking about? In my mind, they appear to be the ones lacking in empathy, kindness and common sense. In my mind, they appear to be depraved and lacking in humanity.
And now, here we are, 2021 rolling into another year that is looking like it will be filled with much of the same feigned outrage and misinformation. Someone out there seems to know how to push our collective psychological buttons while simultaneously getting Mr. and Miss/Mrs./Ms. MAGA to believe they are the “aware” and awake souls ready to turn the clocks back to pre Emancipation Proclamation times, you know, the “our heritage” bullshit? Jesus, I’m tired of the lazy attempts at hiding the racism. Your boy Trump gave you the green light dummies, and Tucker “Dipshit” Carlson said it was okay to say it out loud now. Get it together!
We need to know who each and every one of you are. I need to know so I can dismiss and then ostracize you. I owe none of you anything, nor do the minorities you spit upon. It’s time to go it alone Patriots. You shall be an island unto yourselves with only your fabled bootstraps and can-do attitude to help lift you up because the backs of those you have denigrated, exploited and benefited off of through systemic racism will no longer be made available. It’s your time to shine…or sink. My money is on sinking but prove me wrong, I’ll wait.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to “In the Land of Reverie” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The past 12 months have been an somber pit of nothingness. Dark moments punctuated by occasional bursts of energy that are quickly extinguished by the knowledge that the world is filled with festering human sores, intent on infecting everyone and everything. Beauty replaced by ugliness, the fire of happiness and joy instantly put out by the pissing and moaning masses who have been sucked in by lies, misinformation and internalized nastiness. This world is incessantly exhausting and…utterly disappointing yet, we trudge on, one reluctant foot in front of the other.
I truly admire motivated people and, occasionally, I research their advice for success and say, “Yeah! I want to be like that!” And then, I look around and see all of the thousands of things I need to accomplish, groan and just sink back into my chair, wasting precious time scrolling through TikTok videos and searching things like, “How to access my Akashic record” and, “Why do I belch like a wild beast after drinking Topo Chico?” You know, the important stuff. It could be Covid fatigue or depression or even adult ADHD, because I have a long history of jumping from one thought to another, making wild plans only to see them crumpled up in the corner of a closet, packed to the brim, in the back of my imagination. The idea factory between my ears is still up and running but the distribution center has been closed for over a year.
The main takeaway from that is….at least I can still dream up wild ideas. It’s the implementation that needs work.
And so, because of my current apathy, I haven’t really written anything of merit since January. I simply lost the will to come up with pithy prose and, if I’m being completely honest, I just don’t feel like sharing my life, my memories and my hard earned wisdom with people anymore. Why should I? Each request for input is now met with suspicion because the maliciously ignorant are huffing and puffing around every corner waiting for the chance to spray their troll shit all over, ruining a good joke and an even better bit of satirical therapy. I used to share because it was cathartic for me but, it was also an attempt to save others from making the same mistakes I made. Now, I don’t care as much, if I ever really did at all and the unsolicited opinions of strangers mean even less to me but, now, this time in space does feel different. It’s hard to explain but, the air in this social media reliant world feels thicker and harder to breathe yet, also much easier to stop trying to exist in such inhospitable environs.
The shit is indeed getting deeper and deeper and my patience is growing shorter and shorter. Even more so than before so now, I spend my time painting weird shit, talking to my plants, dancing in my kitchen to music I know no one else likes and generally feeling pretty great about being exactly who I am supposed to be. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but, you know what? I didn’t offer to make any damn tea for those who aren’t me so take that unsolicited opinion you’re itching to share, roll it tight and deposit it straight up your angry ass! I have no time for you. I’ve got oddities to create and clouds to gaze at endlessly while I swing in my hammock. That’s my release, my zen, my everything that doesn’t have to include anyone else unless I so choose. Easy. No worries. No stress. NO FUCKING DRAMA.
Also, I have come to the harsh realization that the people I once knew, like former classmates, coworkers, friends, neighbors, most family members…well, I just don’t like them very much anymore. I probably never liked them to begin but just pretended to out of some warped obligation that I hung on to for nostalgia’s sake. My daughter would scoff at this and say, “Mom, you’ve never really liked people,” but I know that I did my best to test that theory these past few years; looking for the good, slogging through the trash in hopes of finding commonality somewhere, anywhere. I was reaching out, wanting to connect in a meaningful way, more so than in the past and, I felt the effort and exertion on my part but nothing of a reciprocal response came back which made the cutting of ties much easier. The personality quirks and characteristics I once overlooked, falsely describing them as “charming”, I now find repulsive, arrogant and tedious. People have literally out-peopled themselves, gone and exposed their asses to the whole world, forever branding themselves sociopaths, racists, homophones, xenophobes, sexist, fascist and just generally vile, all while wearing a proud as punch, shit-eating grin from ear to ear. Assholes, the whole lot of them.
There! I said the obvious part out loud.
It felt good.
I don’t care if it angers anyone.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I stopped being so concerned about how I possibly impacted others. I never went out of my way to influence anyone, I merely stated how I felt, nothing more. And, for many years I was harshly assured that my thoughts didn’t matter at all and no one cared but obviously some of them did or I wouldn’t have received such backlash for saying the ugly parts out loud, for refusing to be silent. Good, bad, indifferent, none of it matters anymore because the reactions of others are just that, theirs and are of no consequence to me anymore. I will lose no sleep at night fretting over whether or not I should be gentler, nicer or less honest with my words. The candy coating no longer sticks and if I have zero control over how those words are perceived then why dress them up? It never mattered how hard I worked to make my words palatable for the masses anyway because someone ALWAYS found a reason to be offended. It was never about me anyway. It was always about them.
Fuck ’em!
I’m not here to soften the blows, I’m just here to say my peace and then keep on moving. It really makes the most sense because wasting time pondering and ruminating over trivial shit never got anyone any place positive now did it? So why keep doing the same thing over and over only to come back around to that nauseatingly familiar place of nasty unfinished emotional business? It’s not going to change just because you say it should. Put some grit into it! Get that business finished and be done with it once and for all, never looking back, never taking the time to get acquainted with regret.
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Words have power and intent matters. The things we say can illicit beautiful and positive emotional responses but, they can also incite violence, hatred and destruction. Words have the strength to motivate, to move hearts and they can, in some instances, change minds. Some say what they think others want to hear, some say nothing in order to avoid confrontation and then, there are those who say whatever the hell they feel like, consequences be damned.
It’s clear that very few minds are changing. Those who felt something is, and always has been, wrong with this country aren’t changing their minds and, those who want the balance of power to tilt firmly and homogeneously, back to the status quo certainly have no intention of changing either. What I see as utter disgusting lunacy comes across as perfectly logical to, in the wise words of REM’s Michael Stipe, “followers of chaos out of control.” Inciting a mob to violence while standing back to watch your handiwork on television is VILE. Not only is it just that but it’s also illegal. This is not normal, this is not okay. We are broken.
Why can’t everyone see the danger we are in?
Because, to some this is exactly what they were hoping for.
I am not afraid to use my words to call out injustice, bigotry, propaganda and blatant LIES. You. Are. Lying! Long ago, I stopped feeling shocked when I heard or read utterly outrageous falsehoods because I quickly grew to understand that those who lie do so for a distinct reason. It’s not without purpose. It’s not, “just because” they can get away with it. The main reason, in my mind, is to cause disorientation brought on by the intense initial outrage. If they can tire the honest, logical and empathetic just enough to create a momentary pause, a window for ill-intent to creep in then they can get away with anything. And, they are. It’s disgusting.
The death of trust is happening now…
Here is where I take a moment to pose a question to the chaos creators; what is it about helping others that you find so abhorrent? I know it isn’t the bullshit argument that, “my tax dollars shouldn’t go towards giving a handout to people too lazy to work,” or the worn out tome, “Socialism is evil”. You are a broken record. None of your dire predictions of doom have or ever will come true but, the part where you are literally willing to overthrow your own government in order to hang onto the limited power afforded simply because of the hue of your skin and your male identity has. Again, it’s disgusting yet, predictable. We knew you would cling tightly to the past, a past that only favored you and your ilk. A past that made good work of trampling anyone exhibiting the determination to create change because, after all, change is exactly what you fear the most.
Change is your kryptonite and, it’s also quite amusing that I’m using a completely fictional substance to describe your true weakness. You are growing weaker by the minute and more desperate, judging by the actions taken on January 6, 2021 so, how will your ultimate downfall occur? Will we all get to watch it on TV or will you just slink back into the shadows to plot the next coup attempt? With a diet comprised of hatred, envy and fear it’s only a matter of time before vital organs shut down and it appears that process has begun given the loose grasp on reality and increasing cognitive impairment. Your belief that you are somehow smarter, stronger and more resilient than those you rage against is an illusion you apparently find great difficulty reconciling with.
Fighting words don’t taste very good do they?
I have written about the absurd notion that those of a more “liberal” mindset are expected to, nay, are duty bound to forgive and forget and be tolerant towards even the most rabid followers of chaos out of control. That’s a big NOPE for me. I am not a fool. And then, the self-proclaimed opposition sneers, “I thought liberals were supposed to be so tolerant! You’re not being tolerant towards me!” To that I reply, who told you I was a liberal and, you really don’t understand the meaning of that word do you? Liberal? Do you mean the Latin word liber (meaning “free”), or do you mean liberalis, which means “of or constituting liberal arts, of freedom, of a freedman,” which is it? Personally, I believe you mean this: “I can do whatever I want against you or say whatever I want about you and you just have to sit there and take it because I said so!” Again, big NOPE.
Getting back to the title of this piece, where are the words that heal? I suppose the best question to ask now is, who needs the most healing? Is it the perpetually marginalized groups in this country or is it the segment that harbors the most animus towards everyone not like them? Ironically enough, those the rage-filled continually strike out against learned long ago how to fortify themselves against unending oppression so, who’s figured out life better? Quick answer, not you! And by healing I mean self-reflection, personal growth, deprogramming and, ultimately re-humanization because I see this part of the population as the most damaged by their own hand, heart and mind. The ravages of life-long putrid hate makes these pitiful patriots almost unrecognizable as any type of former friend when FOE is most consistently written on their name tags. Today, knowing ones enemy has became exponentially easier while also simultaneously mind numbing.
Is this the future you want for yourselves?
I ask because I’ve grown weary of your self-indulgent circle jerk, chock full of worn out excuses.
Shhh…it’s time to learn a new way of existing with purpose rather than just taking up space in the universe. It’s okay, we can help you but there is a caveat; if we help and still get stabbed in the back well, don’t take it too personally when the door is closed on you permanently. It’s the long-time in coming reward you will have justly deserved.
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Over the course of the past 6 years I have witnessed the rapid decline of America’s love affair with Democracy, ethics and truth. No, it wasn’t actually a love affair at all, it was more like a fairytale in which certain actors portrayed “patriots” while never truly believing in the constitution they claimed to uphold. The stacked actors never intended to be ethical, fair or honest. Liberty and justice for all, to them, really means double standards will apply. And, it also means that white Americans get a wink and a nod as they are being waved through security gates at the Capitol building in Washington D.C., while BLM protesters are met with tear gas, flash grenades, baton strikes to the head and a litany of felony charges. It’s glaringly obvious yet, nearly half of the American population insists on playing a rousing game of “What if” while also juggling multiple “Yeah, but” scenarios that aren’t even based in reality but are instead the product of propaganda and conspiracy.
Yeah, but…uh, NO!
For this I say, thank you! I am grateful that you have chosen to come out into the light. I am relieved to know that I can finally identify who is an ally and who is a complicit co-conspirator. I now know who to do business with, who to support and who to deny oxygen for their rants and hatred fueled bile. You get no more of my time and you certainly get no more second chances. You won the prize for being awful. Wear it proudly because you earned it heartily when you posed for a candid shot in the Capitol rotunda holding your “war” prizes. Be proud of who you really are. Sing the praises of your true god, the god of greed, envy, sloth and ignorance. Let that be your swan song.
When I say thank you to the horribly misguided masses I do so earnestly. I like knowing where I stand with people, just as I like letting everyone know exactly where they stand with me. Simplicity at its best and brutal honesty in its rawest form. Rip off the coddled Band-Aid and feel the pain. It’s nowhere near the pain they have caused during this ridiculous reign of deluded terror but, it’s a tiny start. To finally be able to see themselves through the lens of the world, through the eyes of the horrified bystanders watching in stunned disbelief, that would be a blessing indeed! But, it won’t happen. They are too far gone. I accept that and, I was also not surprised one bit about the outcome. It’s a disappointing feeling being right about this. I feel no joy, only sorrow over all that we have lost.
So, wear your hats and wave your idol worshiping flags for they will act as a beacon warning logical, reasonable, kind and loving citizens to grant you a chasm-sized berth. You have chosen this path so walk it to the end of the plank with all the false bravado you can muster. The world will still be watching. You are the new “reality” show and the ones you have marked ENEMY will go about their lives, confident in the knowledge that the spotlight will never leave your faces. No more covert ops. No more secret signs, websites or hiding places. You made it baby! Welcome to the show! Accept your scarlet letter with PRIDE and know, always know, you did this to yourselves.
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