I am offended that you are offended!

I’m going to try something new at In the Land of Reverie. From here on out I will be interspersing classic nuggets of wisdom from my old blog with current thoughts. It appears we have “secret readers” that find offense in ever thought, blog post, picture and punctuation choice I make.

Cheers and thank you! You have inspired me to amp up the writing exercises from once a month or once in a blue moon to EVERY DAMN DAY! I was looking for the motivation I needed to get back in the writing swing of things and TAG! You are it!

Muchas gracias! Vielen dank! Merci beaucoup! תודה רבה לך! Grazie mille! большое спасибо мудак! Du bist wirklich ein verdammter Verrückter!

Originally written: January 18, 2015

“I am offended!” : How to navigate through a world of hypersensitivity without stepping in a big pile of hurt feelings.

Okay, I’ll just say up front that in today’s society, one that seems to feed on constant worry about offending everyone and their brother, sister, mother, father, child, dog or cat…there is NO way to avoid a bomb that gets ignited by simply having an “opinion.” These days there is the impression that no one should, could or has a right to voice an opinion about anything controversial because it may hurt the feelings of someone somewhere.

You never know the “where” or the “who” until the words are out of your mouth or have been released from your fingertips via the computer keyboard but eventually it becomes clear that not everyone GETS your meaning or intent. They read halfway and then assume its offensive and fire a vicious missile of YOU HURT MY FEELINGS back which typically starts with personal insults being aimed at the offender by the offended. An offense for an offense is the new eye for an eye.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-dance-connection/201702/the-danger-confronting-the-family-member-who-hurt-you

In doing this we are signaling that most “touchy” subjects are off limits and even the simplest of topics could get another person branded as narrow-minded, elitist, a conservative tight-ass, a liberal wimp or even the dreaded….INSENSITIVE! Surely we haven’t grown so intolerant of sharing and debating ideas with those different than ourselves that rather than trying we just shut the doors with a terse, “That was offensive to me and I’m going home!” It’s very similar to scooping up your toys in a huff and flipping little Johnnie the bird as you stomp back to your race car toddler bed to cry. Get back in there and play ball dammit! How is anyone ever going to learn your point of view or you theirs if everyone just walks away all pissed off.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201704/are-you-being-manipulated

How did we get here? Why is the air so filled with misunderstanding, miscommunication, and misinformation? “She said-They said-He said-Everyone says” fills the room during heated conversations but is there actual fact-based proof to support the “They” hypothesis or is it generally just based on personal belief and a sense of inner doubt mixed with self-righteous insecurity? My dilemma is one of not knowing if I should just pretend to give a shit when some Sensitive Sally gets their knickers in a twist over an opinion I was ASKED for or if I should just say that I’m sorry they got themselves all offended. I often laugh when I hear, “You offended me,” because in my mind I’m hearing, “I have poor listening skills and super thin skin so instead of admitting I didn’t get what you said I’ll just slap the new catchphrase of the year on it and blame you.”

https://medium.com/personal-growth/how-to-stop-playing-the-blame-game-on-and-on-20967f6dbb69

What is offensive really? It has different meanings for everyone involved so wouldn’t logic also tell you that assuming the speaker is purposely trying to offend without even considering the tone and context or asking for clarification first would be a fault on your part and not theirs? Generally speaking, I typically say that it is completely up to you as to whether or not you will be offended and it isn’t my responsibility to protect you from your choice.

I never say I am sorry for offending anyone because that was not my intent, never will be and not something I need to atone for because I state my opinion as asked and as I feel it. In most adult discussions with people that you know well there usually is a common connection and the presumption that all involved are well-intentioned because you all are adults, after all, so to take offense is completely up to the person that chooses to.

It’s a “free country” (I put that in quotes because it’s the cliché we hear most) so let’s branch out and apply that to the human condition as a whole. Some people are assholes and like to get others all up in arms and outraged on purpose…that is their intention and if you just fell for it then whose fault is that really? Is it theirs for being how they really are or yours for forgetting what you’ve always known them to be?

The media is a key example of this because they study how pushing people’s emotional buttons creates a reaction so again wouldn’t it also be logical to think that they may play on this by tweaking coverage of certain important social issues in order to get a big pot of offense and outrage boiling? Being offended is just as great for ratings as being offensive is right? When one side jumps ship they have to go somewhere and thus the game continues with little relief in sight. Don’t allow yourself to be played.

So, how do we work through our issues with being perceived as offensive in a defensive world? We keep on being ourselves and clearly and plainly say in our most pleasant voice (sing it if you can) “Get the hell over yourself! I listened to you now listen to me.” Do a high kick and then twirl around for good measure too. Having an opinion shows we are still individuals and that we haven’t succumbed to the zombie state many unimaginative, scared of looking at people cross ways, whimpering cowards around us have. It’s called give and take. They give their two cents and then you take it and turn it into a damn dollar!

Taking offense constantly, rather than rallying the troops for another wave of shock and awe over your impressive debating skills is a sad thing indeed. Study up, learn your facts and understand that the best way to have a spirited transfer of opposing ideas and thoughts is to present them in as clear a picture as possible.

Don’t muddy your argument with fuzzy facts or insults…it’s not necessary and it just makes you look like a fucking idiot. The goal is to be able to state your true point of view, not some watered down, politically skewed version. It should be an honest, heartfelt truth so when people hear it they walk away thinking, “Yeah, maybe I could get on board with that because she’s got a point.” Trust me here. And, you REALLY can. I’ve seen shit and lived to tell the tale!

© 2019 L.A. Askew

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to “In the Land of Reverie” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Where differences matter the most

Don’t you just love the meme parade on social media following all tragic events of late? And by “of late” I mean every damn day!

I can’t wake up to good news lately because, well, it’s all awful 24/7 in Orange Tweet Land but it’s the, “let’s be fair” or “let’s love everyone even though they don’t share your political beliefs” bullshit that fans my fire of dislike for humankind the most.

Y’all just don’t get it!

Or, maybe you do and you just don’t care. I’m thinking it’s this one because caring takes effort and, WOMP-WOMP it’s becoming more and more apparent that “say it like it is” is really code for SHOW US HOW MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE YOU REALLY ARE! It’s okay, really, the Orange Anus in the White House will praise and excuse you and then pardon you if need be. That still doesn’t take away any of the stink…just so we are clear.

*Click the Womping link above and just read the vile comments from American citizens that feel pretty righteous typing away on their computer keyboards and phones in their non-cage homes.

Come on out you constitutional experts! You barkers of propaganda designed to do the very thing your memes and psshh comments are trying to wave off: Separate us even further. Do you really not see this? To condescendingly say: “I don’t hate people who don’t believe the same way I do” while posting obvious untruths and purposely incendiary links to articles, videos, and memes that drip of every ism around is gas lit Hamburger Helper. It’s not even the foie gras of propaganda. It’s the cheapest form of party line gruel.

It literally makes me both cry and laugh to see how well psychological warfare has worked on the very people whom I have heard say, “I don’t believe in that psychobabble, mumbo-jumbo!” Yeah, you may not BELIEVE in it but it still exists and its effectiveness has never been more evident than now based on how many families and friendships social media has torn apart since the Age of Orange began.

*I use derogatory nicknames for Tiny Hands 45 because:

#1) He set the example so if it’s good enough for him then it’s doubly good enough for regular folk! And,

#2) I fear saying his name 3 times in a row, like Beetlejuice, because, well, we know how that went and I don’t like sandworms or zombies.

Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand; in short, some differences really do matter. Like the difference between people who are and aren’t horrified with government sanctioned child abuse. I get it, shit has been going down for a long time and very little was done BUT, we are in the HERE AND NOW. It is in our fucking faces non-stop and the fucking tweets keep coming and the fucking asshole talking heads, oh sorry…apologists, well really, justifiers for the shitty behavior of a goddamn sitting US president all find great glee in this situation.

Hear that? THEY APPEAR TO BE OKAY WITH THIS SHIT!!!!!!!

Gotta secure the border. Gotta take back American jobs. Gotta, gotta, gotta….uh, how about gotta stop abusing children, period.

We all know the government doesn’t give a shit about the abuse of American children or THAT would have been taken care of long ago but to now turn that stern hand on children from Mexico, El Salvador, Honduras, you know, the countries Grand Poobah Cheeto deemed “shithole countries” is pretty telling. For a country with a massive Orange Talking Head that touts how great he is, THIS ain’t so great.

And Y’all wonder why people hate us? Really? You wonder?

My point here is this; don’t tell me to respect your beliefs if one of them includes justifying the abuse of children. On that, we will remain very fucking different. On that, we will remain in constant disagreement and on THAT we will remain extremely distant. Count on it.

 

© 2018 L.A. Askew
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to “In the Land of Reverie” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
To steal the creative work of another to use as your own is the grand height of laziness.